REBUILDING US:
Transforming Crisis into Connection
Every relationship faces challenges. Even with best intentions and love, trust erodes, communication breaks down, an affair shakes the ground beneath your feet, or a marriage becomes sexless without the mutual agreement of both partners.
This takes a toll on the relationship. Emotional distress becomes the norm. Feelings of inadequacy and/or alienation have you lose confidence. You get caught cycling in negative patterns without a way to stop hurting each other.
It might not look this way right now, but I know that even in the darkest moments, transformation is possible.
Is your relationship in crisis?
If you recognize any of these patterns, your relationship is in need of urgent support:
Hurtful Communication: Frequent arguments over the little stuff escalate quickly, leaving both partners feeling unheard and misunderstood.
Emotional Withdrawal: One or both partners retreat emotionally, avoiding difficult conversations and becoming increasingly distant.
Loss of Intimacy: Physical and emotional closeness diminishes, leading to a sexless or passionless relationship.
Betrayal of Trust: Infidelity or other breaches of trust that leave lasting scars and uncertainty.
Resentment and Contempt: You get caught in the persistent negative cycles that push you further and further apart.
Evaluate where you are today in the downward spiral of disconnection and pain and it will reveal how urgent you need support.
Transformation Starts with Your Commitment to Restoring Trust, Intimacy, and Connection
How Rebuilding US can help:
Address the Root Causes: Identify and understand the underlying issues contributing to the crisis, whether it's communication breakdowns, unmet needs, trauma or infidelity.
Rebuild Trust: Rebuild trust through transparency, accountability, and consistent actions.
Enhance Communication: Develop healthy communication skills to express needs, listen deeply, and resolve conflicts in a way that deepens connection.
Restore Intimacy: Gradually rebuild emotional and physical intimacy, fostering a deeper connection and rekindling passion.
Create a New Foundation: Establish new patterns of behavior and understanding disagreements become invitations to deepen — not distance.
Real Journeys, Real Transformation
For many couples, before we could address sexual intimacy, we had to focus on rebuilding the foundations of trust and connection.
The way we’ve been having sex now … if we need to do something different, to change positions, to something’s not working, there is a joy in it. It’s not fraught anymore; it’s more like ‘let’s figure it out’. There is a real trust that’s there.
After getting married, Leon and Naomi hit a rough patch in their relationship and sex life. They quickly sought out help and just after a year, they had strengthened their relationship to feel confident to welcome their first child. Read their full success story here
We take the work we've done as a point of pride now, like we've worked really hard, not just fell into this amazing relationship.
Al & Blair, another couple in their 30s, met each other in so many important ways. Except in moving past some blocks in their sex life. They turned their relationship around to secure their relationship and feel confident in their decision. Read their full success story
Irene has developed an amazing set of tools, and she has an extraordinary ability of holding space so that each of us has the opportunity to truly be heard and understood and to say what we needed to say. That somehow made our challenges more manageable and intimacy easier. Having done this work, thinking about the future that we want to create from here is easy and we are confident that we can do it.
S & J, a newly married couple in their 30 struggled with recurring arguments and patterns around sex and intimacy. They sought help just before getting married and walked into a future together with a stronger foundation.
Signature “Rebuilding Us” foundations:
Gridlock Breakthrough Tools — Practical strategies to interrupt looping arguments, unearth the deeper needs and longing beneath, and deepen trust.
Negotiation processes to help you arrive at solutions where both peoples’ needs are honored and fulfilled
Connection rituals where you can let your guard down and feel heard and understood in a way that builds closeness and intimacy
What Is the Commitment to Work with Me?
Time Commitment
The path to rebuilding a relationship is unpredictable and rocky, which is why it is imperative to give it time and space to move organically. I ask clients to commit to at least 12 months together; realistically, couples in crisis need 2-3 years of continuous support to find their way to reliable safety and growth. We meet weekly via virtual sessions, with optional intensive days or week-long retreats to go deeper.
Financial Investment
Coaching packages are deeply customized and typically range FROM US$18,000 for the core package a year. Couples in crisis needing an urgent boost of hope and healing also have the option to enroll in an unlimited annual package where you have unlimited support from during the year; these packages start at US$28,000 Flexible payment plans are available. The exact pricing will be shared at the time of your free consultation.
Emotional and Energetic Engagement
This isn’t passive listening. You’ll engage in daily connection assignments, fostering new habits of intimacy. Expect to spend several hours a week on working through what you learned in sessions as well as connecting rituals.
VIRTUAL COACHING: I am an American currently based in Europe and work virtually via the online conferencing platform Zoom with English-speaking clients all over the world, including the US, Canada, Europe, UK, Israel, the Middle East and Australia.
There is no sexual contact involved under any circumstances.
Hi, I am Irene Fehr, MA, CPCC, SEP
WOMAN, LOVER, INTIMACY WARRIOR, NATURE LOVER, FRANCOPHILE and SEX & INTIMACY COACH SINCE 2012
I am not here to tell you how to do things in sex to make it passionate. The last thing you need is something telling you what to do.
I am here to listen to your dreams and needs and then expertly guide you to realize them. It’s that simple.
In addition to helping hundreds of couples transform their relationships from roommates to lovers, my work and views on what makes love and sex work in long-term relationships have been featured in more than 40 podcasts and in major media outlets around the world.
Why This Path Works
It’s holistic — addressing physical, emotional, and sexual aspects in a cohesive, attuned way
It’s tailored to who you are, how you live, your practical priorities, and what nourishes you both
It cultivates Connection Sex™, profoundly slowing down intimacy so you savor every sensation, emotional beat, and moment of presence—without pressure or performance anxiety
THE NUANCES OF YOUR COUPLE PATTERNS
A solid approach to fixing a persistent sex problem doesn’t start with theory. It starts with a deep look at your couple dynamics today and where you want to go. We base our action steps on the specific needs of your relationship and each member to restore safety, vulnerability and connection that breeds intimacy and sexual openness.
THE WAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE
Most sex advice gives you generic tips to implement, leaving it up to you to figure out how to force-fit them into your already packed life. That is not sustainable — nor does it motivate you to invest time and energy into it. The best strategy is to create new habits that you are excited about, because they work with your life and priorities.
Physical and emotional aspects of sex
Most sex advice focuses on the physical side of sex and how to make it passionate and exciting. But that’s not enough. You also need to attend to the intimacy and emotional side of sex to to develop passion and closeness. Only a holistic approach that melds sex and intimacy together can tackle sex and sexual desire challenges in a long-term relationship.
Need help talking to your partner about getting support for rekindling your relationship with a sex & intimacy coach?
Maybe you’re already on the same page in rekindling sex and intimacy in your relationship, and this conversation will be a piece of cake.
For most couples, however, approaching a partner about working on the relationship can feel intimidating or scary. Don’t despair!
I’ve created a special guide on how to approach talking to your partner about hiring a sex coach. It includes a special process and a downloadable PDF worksheet for you to fill out to make the conversation a lot easier and more successful.
Download free guide: how to talk to partner about a sex coach