When you meet and commit to a lifetime together, passion feels so effortless and energizing — so much so that it comes as a heart-breaking shock when couples find themselves decades into the marriage living like roommates in flat co-existence.

It happens quietly, almost imperceptibly. One day you notice that you and your partner only talk about schedules, groceries, and the kids. Affection has dwindled to a quick kiss goodbye—or none at all. Sex either feels like a distant memory, a duty, or something you avoid because it’s awkward, tense, or disappointing.

You love each other, and in many ways you’re great companions. But underneath the surface, there’s a quiet ache: a longing to be touched, desired, and seen—not just as a co-parent, roommate, or partner in logistics, but as a lover.

When passion fades, couples often:

• Feel more like friends or colleagues than romantic partners — trust is there, but the deeper connection is gone or feels flat.

• Avoid sex altogether because it feels like a chore or because initiating has become risky: What if they say no again?

• Lose confidence — wondering if something is wrong with them, or fearing they’ll never feel that spark again.

• Bury unspoken resentments about unmet needs, emotional distance, or years of disconnection that turn into painfully distancing patterns.

Over time, this quiet erosion can leave you feeling isolated—even while sharing the same bed. You might ask yourself, “Is this just what happens after years together? Is this all we can expect from our love?”

Here’s the truth: it doesn’t have to be this way. Passion doesn’t simply disappear with time — it gets buried under layers of stress, unspoken hurts and unhealed disappointments, and survival-mode living. With the right tools and guidance, couples can peel back those layers, heal old wounds, and reawaken intimacy in ways that are even more profound and nourishing than in the early days of the relationship.

What feels flat and hopeless right now can transform into a sexual connection that feels alive, safe, playful, and deeply fulfilling. The spark can return—not as a fleeting flame, but as a steady fire that warms and sustains you both.

There Is Hope—and a Path Forward

You may have already tried date-night books, apps, 30-day intimacy challenges, and other generic advice — and felt stuck. The reason it didn’t work isn’t that you failed. It's because deeper intimacy needs more than one-size-fits-all solutions.

Your unique love deserves bespoke attention.

It thrives in emotional safety, consistency, and alignment with how you live, love, and connect. I know this deeply— because I’ve helped hundreds of couples like you reclaim joy, tenderness, and sexual connection in ways that feel authentic and sustainable.

What You’ll Gain from Working Together

• A grounded, holistic path to intimacy — not fix-it or “how to spice things up” tips, but deep work on patterns, communication, vulnerability, and presence

• Connection Sex™ practices that slow down the default pace of sex, helping you rediscover tenderness, arousal, and mutual desire in a nourishing, emotionally safe way

• A customized coaching journey tailored to your unique dynamics—your challenges, schedules, emotions, histories and traumas, and love languages

What Is the Commitment to Work with Me?

The journey to extraordinary demands commitment—and the results are worth it.

Time Commitment
You’ll work together for at least 12 months; many couples extend to 2–3 years for sustained, life-changing intimacy. We meet weekly via virtual sessions, with optional intensive days or week-long retreats to dig deeper.

Financial Investment
Coaching packages are deeply customized and typically range annually FROM US$18,000 for the core package to $27,000 for an unlimited support. Flexible payment plans are available, discussed during your free consultation.

Emotional and Energetic Engagement
This isn’t passive listening. You’ll engage in daily connection assignments, fostering new habits of intimacy. Expect to spend several hours a week deeply connecting, touching, and or playing with each other — which is your goal to begin with!

VIRTUAL COACHING: I am an American currently based in Europe and work virtually via the online conferencing platform Zoom with English-speaking clients all over the world, including the US, Canada, Europe, UK, Israel, the Middle East and Australia. 

There is no sexual contact involved under any circumstances.

Hi, I am Irene Fehr, MA, CPCC, SEP

WOMAN, LOVER, INTIMACY WARRIOR, NATURE LOVER, FRANCOPHILE and SEX & INTIMACY COACH SINCE 2012

I am not here to tell you how to do things in sex to make it passionate. The last thing you need is something telling you what to do.

I am here to listen to your dreams and needs and then expertly guide you to realize them. It’s that simple.

In addition to helping hundreds of couples transform their relationship from roommates to lovers, my work and views on love and sex in long-term relationships have been featured in more than 40 podcasts and in major media outlets around the world.

Why This Path Works

• It’s holistic — addressing physical, emotional, and sexual aspects in a cohesive, attuned way

• It’s tailored to who you are, how you live, your practical priorities, and what nourishes you both

• It cultivates Connection Sex™, profoundly slowing down intimacy so you savor every sensation, emotional beat, and moment of presence—without pressure or performance anxiety

A solid approach to fixing a persistent sex problem doesn’t start with theory. It starts with a deep look at your couple dynamics today and where you want to go. We base our action steps on the specific needs of your relationship and each member to restore safety, vulnerability and connection that breeds intimacy and sexual openness.

Need help talking to your partner about getting support for rekindling your relationship with a sex & intimacy coach?

Maybe you’re already on the same page in rekindling sex and intimacy in your relationship, and this conversation will be a piece of cake.

For most couples, however, approaching a partner about working on the relationship can feel intimidating or scary. Don’t despair!

I’ve created a special guide on how to approach talking to your partner about hiring a sex coach. It includes a special process and a downloadable PDF worksheet for you to fill out to make the conversation a lot easier and more successful.

Download free guide: how to talk to partner about a sex coach