CREATING US:
Laying the Foundations for a Loving & Passionate Partnership
You’re in the beautiful phase of creating “us” — in love, committed, and planning a future together. You’ve found someone you want to invest in, to grow with, and play with.
It’s normal and natural for all couples to experiencing moments when what used to feel effortless now feels harder or more complicated:
Desire doesn’t look the same anymore. One of you feels ready; the other feels pressured. Initiation becomes fraught, and resentment builds. You wonder: Are we really compatible and do we have to settle for this for the rest of our lives?
Arguments pop up around small things, and sometimes they escalate, looping endlessly until one of you withdraws or both go to bed disconnected. You wonder: Can we handle conflict without hurting each other?
Unmet needs start to turn into silent resentments that pop up through little annoyances and sharp remarks. Instead of feeling closer, you sometimes feel stuck, scared, or disconnected and sometimes devolve into one of the 10 painfully distancing patterns.
None of this means you, your love or your relationship are failing. It does mean that your relationship has outgrown your existing tools and is asking for attention, growth, and new tools for creating a stronger, more sustainable “us”.
You deserve to feel empowered to deal with conflict or intimacy challenges with ease.
Imagine What’s Possible for a Moment …
Disagreements become invitations to deepen — not distance. You trust conflict to bring you closer rather than drive you apart because you know how to communicate in a way that your partner hears you.
Desire isn't dictated by schedule or mood — but organically grows out of everyday connection, curiosity, and play.
You feel heard, seen and understood by each other, even amidst differences in personality or desires.
Real Journeys, Real Transformation
New couples in their 30s strengthen their relationship and set themselves up for decades to come
The way we’ve been having sex now … if we need to do something different, to change positions, to something’s not working, there is a joy in it. It’s not fraught anymore; it’s more like ‘let’s figure it out’. There is a real trust that’s there.
Just after getting married in their mid 30s, Leon and Naomi hit a rough patch in their relationship and sex life. They quickly sought out help and just after a year, they had strengthened their relationship to feel confident to welcome their first child. Read their full success story here
We take the work we've done as a point of pride now, like we've worked really hard, not just fell into this amazing relationship.
Al & Blair, another couple in their 30s, met each other in so many important ways. Except in moving past some blocks in their sex life. They turned their relationship around to secure their relationship and feel confident in their decision. Read their full success story
Irene has developed an amazing set of tools, and she has an extraordinary ability of holding space so that each of us has the opportunity to truly be heard and understood and to say what we needed to say. That somehow made our challenges more manageable and intimacy easier. Having done this work, thinking about the future that we want to create from here is easy and we are confident that we can do it.
S & J, a newly married couple in their 30 struggled with recurring arguments and patterns around sex and intimacy. They sought help just before getting married and walked into a future together with a stronger foundation.
Signature “Creating Us” foundations:
Discovery Conversations — Rich, curiosity-filled talks (outside of sex) about what makes each of you feel safe, desired, seen, and alive.
Gridlock Breakthrough Tools — Practical strategies to interrupt looping arguments, unearth the deeper needs and longing beneath, and deepen trust.
Sexy Playtime — Scheduled moments of joy and connection where sex isn’t the goal — play is. It builds intimacy and desire without the pressure.
What Is the Commitment to Work with Me?
The journey to extraordinary demands commitment—and the results are worth it. I take clients through a process to help them arrive where they want to be.
Time Commitment
I ask clients to commit to at least 12 months together — because, as in all areas of life, truly extraordinary results take time to produce. For many new couples, that is all that it takes, while some couples continue to work with me for up to 2 years because the value continued support for their relationship goals. We meet weekly via virtual sessions, with optional intensive days or week-long retreats to go deeper.
Financial Investment
Coaching packages are deeply customized and typically range FROM US$18,000 for the core package a year. Flexible payment plans are available. The exact pricing will be shared at the time of your free consultation.
Emotional and Energetic Engagement
This isn’t passive listening. You’ll engage in daily connection assignments, fostering new habits of intimacy. Expect to spend several hours a week deeply connecting, touching, and playing with each other — which is your goal to begin with!
VIRTUAL COACHING: I am an American currently based in Europe and work virtually via the online conferencing platform Zoom with English-speaking clients all over the world, including the US, Canada, Europe, UK, Israel, the Middle East and Australia.
There is no sexual contact involved under any circumstances.
Hi, I am Irene Fehr, MA, CPCC, SEP
WOMAN, LOVER, INTIMACY WARRIOR, NATURE LOVER, FRANCOPHILE and SEX & INTIMACY COACH SINCE 2012
I am not here to tell you how to do things in sex to make it passionate. The last thing you need is something telling you what to do.
I am here to listen to your dreams and needs and then expertly guide you to realize them. It’s that simple.
In addition to helping hundreds of couples transform their relationships from roommates to lovers, my work and views on what makes love and sex work in long-term relationships have been featured in more than 40 podcasts and in major media outlets around the world.
Why This Path Works
It’s holistic — addressing physical, emotional, and sexual aspects in a cohesive, attuned way
It’s tailored to who you are, how you live, your practical priorities, and what nourishes you both
It cultivates Connection Sex™, profoundly slowing down intimacy so you savor every sensation, emotional beat, and moment of presence—without pressure or performance anxiety
THE NUANCES OF YOUR COUPLE PATTERNS
A solid approach to fixing a persistent sex problem doesn’t start with theory. It starts with a deep look at your couple dynamics today and where you want to go. We base our action steps on the specific needs of your relationship and each member to restore safety, vulnerability and connection that breeds intimacy and sexual openness.
THE WAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE
Most sex advice gives you generic tips to implement, leaving it up to you to figure out how to force-fit them into your already packed life. That is not sustainable — nor does it motivate you to invest time and energy into it. The best strategy is to create new habits that you are excited about, because they work with your life and priorities.
Physical and emotional aspects of sex
Most sex advice focuses on the physical side of sex and how to make it passionate and exciting. But that’s not enough. You also need to attend to the intimacy and emotional side of sex to to develop passion and closeness. Only a holistic approach that melds sex and intimacy together can tackle sex and sexual desire challenges in a long-term relationship.
Need help talking to your partner about getting support for rekindling your relationship with a sex & intimacy coach?
Maybe you’re already on the same page in rekindling sex and intimacy in your relationship, and this conversation will be a piece of cake.
For most couples, however, approaching a partner about working on the relationship can feel intimidating or scary. Don’t despair!
I’ve created a special guide on how to approach talking to your partner about hiring a sex coach. It includes a special process and a downloadable PDF worksheet for you to fill out to make the conversation a lot easier and more successful.
Download free guide: how to talk to partner about a sex coach