3 Powerful Resolutions to Welcome Sex in 2022

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New Year's Resolution for sex & intimacy

And just like that — the calendar year changed and that means it’s a new life and you can achieve anything you desire.  

YES!!! 

With glow of the holidays still in the air …

You feel optimistic … energized … and ready to move forward.

If you’re a woman who’s been struggling with sexual desire,
you resolve to start changing something in regards to sexual intimacy … 
as you realize, again, that it affects your relationship.

The New Year feels like an opportunity and a promise of a reset, after all.

But for a moment, forget it’s January 2nd. 

Follow me into the future, to the eve of December 31st … of 2022. 

Imagine looking back at all the things that happened — in your relationship, your bedroom, and even in your home. 

You will have spent another year’s worth of your energy and attention on many things.
And now all of that energy is gone.

You will have worked hard, and pushed yourself even harder, to make things happen.
All of that is gone, too.

And on top of doing the work, you worried about it all so much. 
So much mental energy and head space …
All of that is now behind you too.

And what will be something that stays with you that you got during the year?

IMPACT.

Impact on your relationship.

Impact on your partner.

Impact on you.

And whatever happens, you will have feelings about that impact.

It could be …

Satisfaction … or regret.
Fulfillment … or disappointment.
Energy and hope … or feeling too exhausted and worn out to care.

Will you look back at 2022 and feel proud, energized and strengthened by the impact you created?

Or will you look forward to 2023 with wistfulness, hoping that the next year will magically be better?

If you struggle with sex and sexual intimacy in your relationship and don’t want to things to stay the same, there are 3 key factors that will influence how you will feel about your year because of the impact that you will create.

Think of these as resolutions that you need to deliver on.

They will be the deciding factor of whether 2022 will support your relationship to be extraordinary … or not. 

 

EXTRAORDINARY RELATIONSHIP RESOLUTION #1:
How consistent you are in showing up in your romantic relationship 

If I’m right about you, your dream relationship is not one where you live like strangers and just get stuff done. Some call it being roommates. 

You want an extraordinary relationship and you already have one in many ways. You’re with the partner you deeply love. You’ve invested heavily into developing your relationship. And you’ve overcome struggles that would have broken other couples up.

You’ve proven to each other that your love and care is extraordinary, and you know that sex and intimacy are crucial to completing the dream of your romantic relationship with each other. 

If you settle for a relationship where sex is a monthly thing or something you force yourself to do, you won’t be happy with yourself. Even if it makes your partner feel temporarily relieved, you will always feel like you have compromised.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with “check-box sex.”

For many couples, it’s good enough. It keeps the relationship on life support. 

But I suspect that you’ve figured out that it’s not enough for you. A surviving relationship is a far cry from an extraordinary one — and you know that your relationship deserves more. 

If you are not showing up consistently, in a way that includes expressing your sexual desire, you are at risk of living in a relationship that is perpetually in the ICU. You may be able to maintain the relationship, but it will hardly live up to the potential that it can be. 

EXTRAORDINARY RELATIONSHIP RESOLUTION #2:
How much your actions make an impact on your partner’s happiness

You’re a caring woman, with a big heart and big generosity. 
You want to make your partner happy — and you want him to be happy with you. 

You make your home beautiful. 
You strive to be the perfect woman. 
You try to not be needy or high maintenance so that he doesn’t think you are a burden.

Without figuring out what you want and need for sex to be pleasurable and exciting for you, it makes sense to simply give in to make him happy.

But you know that giving in when you’re not ready doesn’t make you happy. 

You know that ignoring your body or not even knowing how to interpret its cues betrays your very soul. 

It makes you feel worse about yourself. 

It even leads to you resenting him … 
And showing it in ways that make you question your own loving nature. 

If another year goes by with you trying to prove that you’re a loving and caring woman while continuing to disregard your own needs, you risk feeling like you are the reason why your partner is not happy … and you will be right.

EXTRAORDINARY RELATIONSHIP RESOLUTION #3:
How much your actions make an impact on your own happiness 

Back to the eve of December 31st, 2022. 

Everything that happened, happened.

There were great moments in your relationship. 
And there were really low ones. 

You had a participating role in all of them, one way or another — by creating or avoiding them. 

And you will have feelings about your part. 

Maybe you will feel good about yourself — like you did all the right things, said what you needed to say, and got what you asked for. 

And maybe you won’t. 

Maybe you will feel regret for things that you said when the same ol’ “it’s been a while” argument got heated.

Maybe you will feel sad for having betrayed yourself again and again by saying ‘yes’ to checkbox sex when you didn’t want to.

Maybe you feel ashamed about reactions that you could not stop or truths you just could not utter about what you had actually wanted.

Maybe you depleted yourself beyond measure doing everything for everyone and just couldn’t stop the resentment from setting your relationship on fire. 

How you feel about yourself will depend on your decisions and actions. 

And how you feel about yourself will either elevate and energize you — or deplete you and bring you down. If you go another year feeling out of integrity with your deep truth, there is no telling of how soon you’ll reach the breaking point or what will happen to your relationship by then. 

 

As you ponder your New Year’s resolutions, ask yourself: 

What actions will you take to realize your dream relationship?
And how important is this dream to you, really? 

Merely wanting really hard for things to change is not enough. 

Without resolving to make them a reality, nothing will happen. 

But a wholehearted resolution is not enough either. 

Resolving to do things differently, but doing the wrong things will get you stuck, frustrated then giving up trying altogether.

  • If you don’t know how to consistently create more moments of intimate connection with your partner, you simply won’t do it. 

  • If you don’t know how to figure out sex for your own pleasure, you simply won’t do it.

  • If you don’t know how to take action that has you feel good about yourself, you simply won’t. 

If you have a clear way of fixing all of these, don’t wait another minute and do it now. It will serve your relationship and deepen the love that you have for each other.

And if these challenges ring true, what you need is a blueprint that helps you figure out how to make which changes and when, to get the results you want. 

Dare to follow your heart. Dare intimacy.

P.S. When you’re ready to find your way back to yourself and your partner, here are a few options for you: