Sex & Intimacy Coaching for Couples
You’re with the partner you deeply love.
Your love is extraordinary & you feel at home with each other. You want sex to be an extraordinary expression of your big love for each other.
When you meet and commit to a lifetime together, passion feels so effortless and profoundly transformational — so much so that it comes as a heart-breaking shock when sexual passion start to wane, frequency comes to a halt or simply doesn’t match the individual needs of each partner.
When things don’t go as easily or as planned in your sex life, you find yourselves lost and confused. You take the sex problem personally, as if it’s your fault, or you start to question whether you made the right decision or choice with each other.
You’re not alone!
If you struggle with sex and intimacy in any of these situations, you’re in the right place:
Sex used to be fun and passionate in the beginning. You felt like soulmates. Then kids, house, family, and other responsibilities came along. Now a couple of years (or decades) in, you’re living like roommates and it breaks your hearts to admit that the romantic couple you used to be is now a sexless marriage.
Your libidos don’t seem to be on the same page anymore. One of you (typically, the man) is more spontaneous when it comes to sex and can jump in at any time, while your partner (typically, the woman) requires planning for sex and gets distracted by all sorts of things. It even looks like she struggles with low libido. Sex feels like a chore, if you have it at all. And that monthly “it’s been a while” conversation/argument feels like Groundhog Day with no way out.
You’re new parents, so naturally you hardly sleep and have the needs of our little ones to think about. Sex has gotten less frequent and certainly less passionate — and you wonder if you can hang on for much longer, especially under the pressure of all these challenges and responsibilities.
Pain during intercourse takes sex off the table. You both feel so lost and hopeless not being able to fix this. You’ve run out of ideas of what to do, while the frustration and distance keep growing.
The reality is that unresolved “sex problems” don’t just stop at the bedroom door. They tear apart a relationship.
It starts with compromise and spirals down all the way to contempt. Unresolved sex problems affect the rest of your relationship, causing countless “paper cuts” that lead you to pull away from each other, doubt yourselves and your love, and resign to a sense of hopelessness that things will ever change.
Change is possible — and getting the tools you need may be a matter of urgency.
Assess the stage of relationship damage you’re in &
how urgently you need to seek action
Read real-life case studies of “Intimacy Warriors” who rescued their relationships from emotional and sexual gridlock to find their way to passion, intimacy and sex
On the brink of divorce after 25 years together, Shannon and Bill fought to save their near-sexless marriage. Their experience led them to discover levels of emotional and sexual intimacy that they did not know existed.
Al & Blair, a couple in their 30s, were in a gridlocked place of defensiveness and power struggles that made sexual intimacy impossible. As they found their way to each other and to deeper intimacy, they discovered more freedom and fun.
After their child’s birth, Alan and Grace fell into a sexless marriage that threatened their relationship and love. After losing a year trying to fix this with couples therapy, they fought to find the support that would turn things around.
After 25 years of deep love and connection, Shannon & Greg feared that “differences in libido” would end their marriage. Learn how they broke through damaging patterns to sexy intimacy and even more love.
Get the Support Your Love Deserves
Imagine sex feeling easy …
Imagine sex coming from desire, not obligation or guild …
Imagine sex feeding your love for each other.
Stepping into intimate lovemaking requires you to dare intimacy — by learning to overcome the barriers to it.
OBLIGATORY SEX
Feeling guarded and walking on eggshells to make sure that you do the right thing at the right time
Holding back on saying what you want in fears of hurting or pushing away your partner
Getting it over with so one partner gets their pleasure
Rushing through foreplay and intercourse without taking time to get aroused
Engaging out of guilt or fear of losing your partner
Forcing sex by scheduling it or after the monthly “It’s been a while” conversation
Going through the motions to get off with minimal touch and arousal, just enough to orgasm
Feeling ashamed of this part of your life, even though the rest of your relationship is loving and fulfilling
INTIMATE LOVEMAKING
Letting your guard down and moving towards each other in an open and vulnerable way.
Communicating desires without guilt or shame and in ways that have your partner want to give it to you
Making pleasure part of the shared experience of lovemaking
Honoring each partner’s pace with sensual touch
Engaging with each other from fullness and generosity
Engaging in spontaneous lovemaking that arises out of everyday situations
Connecting deeply through touch and sexual play in ways that enliven and excite both partners
Being proud of what you’ve created together and never doubting that you made the right decision for your love
When you dare intimacy, sex becomes a means of fulfillment that goes beyond the borders of the body.
How to Work with Me
As a sex coach, I understand the physical side of sex and how to make it passionate and exciting. But that’s not enough.
You also need a coach who gets intimacy and focuses on the emotional aspects of sex to help you break free of the patterns of “going through the motions” or ‘obligatory” sex to passion and closeness.
As a coach focusing on both sex and intimacy, I offer the power of both sides in a holistic approach to tackle sex and sexual desire challenges in a long-term relationship.
My goal is to help you build an extraordinary committed relationship filled with both love and sex — not make it a little bit less bad.
Which is why I take my clients through a customized process that tackles the sticky patterns that keep you away from each other while teaching you how to connect sexually in a new — and sustainable — way.
Every couples journey is …
custom-tailored for your specific situation
highly experiential
transformative
… designed to help you go from forced, obligatory relating to daring intimacy that transforms sex into deeper fulfillment beyond the borders of the body.
Each process begins with an in-depth free consultation session that allows me to understand your situation and helps you discover the roadmap to moving forward.
TIME COMMITMENT: I typically work with clients for at least 12 months — because, as in all areas of life, truly extraordinary results take time to produce. I do not work on a session-by-session basis, as I do not see that as being in service of my client’s goals for an extraordinary sex life.
We typically work together weekly via a virtual session, and depending on your package, we also design intensive sessions to cover in-depth topics.
FINANCIAL COMMITMENT: I offer highly-customized coaching packages with various level of support that range from US$17K to $29K for the year for couples coaching. Payment plans are available.
VIRTUAL COACHING: I am an American currently based in the Netherlands and work virtually over the online conferencing platform of Zoom with English-speaking clients all over the world, including the US, Canada, Europe, UK, Israel, the Middle East and Australia.
There is no sexual contact involved under any circumstances.
How to Talk to Your Partner About Getting Sex & Intimacy Coaching
Maybe you’re on the same page in prioritizing sex and intimacy in your relationship, and this conversation will be a piece of cake.
For most couples, however, approaching a partner about doing couples coaching or therapy can feel intimidating or scary. Don’t despair!
I’ve created a special guide to How to Talk to Your Partner about Hiring a Sex Coach. It includes a special process and a downloadable PDF worksheet for you to fill out to make the conversation a lot easier and more successful.
We learned how to do long-term relationship with Irene …
We've both grown sooo much individually and as a couple … both much happier in our marriage. We were in a rough spot when we started ... tons of bickering … always feeling on edge like a fight was just around the corner, feeling drained by one another/our relationship and not on the same page as a couple. After coaching with Irene, we feel like a squeaky clean new couple. We're much more filled up individually, so we are filled up by our relationship, have sex much more frequently and more fulfilling sex, we have tools on how to do relationship so we rarely fight now. We ... both feel so much more freedom and joy from our relationship. We're also showing our son, and future children, what a healthy marriage looks and feels like. Irene ... lovingly guided us through some very tender times and got us to drop our swords and taught us to open our hearts to one another again. Her coaching is the perfect blend of tangible skills/communication, energy, holding a strong space and having fun. Do it — it takes work, courage, tears, healing and it is 1000% worth it because the love, freedom and joy on the other side is better than you can imagine.
Erin and Doug Holt • Entrepreneurs and Married Couple • Maine, USA
Freedom Lifestyle Mentor and Business and Men's Leadership Mentor
We’ve brought life back into our relationship … and it feels like we’re now in a state of effortless love.
Working with Irene has been life-changing! We came to Irene when things felt really hard in our relationship, as lack of trust was making communication and connection challenging and also our sex life. We’ve brought life back into our relationship … and it feels like we’re now in a state of effortless love. We trust each other, we have more connection, and we’re able to flow between situations, not worrying that we’ll say the wrong thing to each other. We’ve come closer together — in our everyday communication, in our love, in how we no longer leave each other behind during arguments, disagreements or hurt feelings, and in sex as we learned to put our guard down and be with each other in a more connected way.
As a man, I feel stronger for having learned how to be vulnerable, and I know I am making our relationship stronger when I am able to be open and honest and not fear showing that side of myself to my wife. I am being more effective and stronger for her, and as a result, we’re able to face what comes up together. As a woman, I learned to be more at ease with myself, and to allow myself to trust and depend on my husband, in a way that my older self couldn’t because of the walls I had put up around myself.
Irene has developed an amazing set of tools, and she has an extraordinary ability of holding space so that each of us has the opportunity to truly be heard and understood and to say what we needed to say. That made our challenges more manageable and intimacy easier. Having done this work, thinking about the future that we want to create from here is easy, and we are confident that we can do it.
S & J • Married couple in their 30s • Colorado, USA
Our relationship is the best it’s been in recent years and that’s a lot due to our renewed intimacy.
Surely not unlike many other couples who have been together 10 plus years, sex was something we just did. We were, for many years, going through the same patterns that we always had and we felt “satisfied.” It wasn’t until we had an honest conversation of “Are you getting what you want out of this?” that we realised that neither of us were.
And as ridiculous as it was to engage a coach on the other side of the planet, it has been life changing. Our relationship is the best it’s been in recent years and that’s a lot due to our renewed intimacy.
We had no idea what we wanted or how to get there, but knew that “spicing it up” wasn’t the answer. We were looking to lay ground work so that our intimate relationship fed the rest of our relationship for the years to come … and great sex is obviously a key to that. Irene provided a supportive environment, helped us grow both as a couple and individually so that we could bring the best of ourselves to the bedroom. We learnt that just “satisfied” isn’t what we want our intimate relationship and sex life to be … we wanted it to be amazing and we, with help from Irene, are well on the way to achieving that.
Tom and Lacey • Married Couple • Brisbane, Australia
