Sex & Intimacy Coaching for Couples
Connection Sex is the only sustainable path to long-term sexual passion and intimacy.
I believe that our desire to work on our sexuality and sexual relationships is more than just a call to fix something that’s not working. It’s a call to actualize our deepest desires around human connection.
I believe that sexuality work is transformative. It is life-changing. It is a sexual crucible that calls us to grow.
In fact, I believe challenges around sexual desire are about health and growth rather than pathology, an opportunity and a calling to step into the next level of self-realization and connection.
And I believe that Connection Sex is the only sustainable path to long-term sexual passion and intimacy.
My goal is to help clients build a great marriage; not make your marriage a little bit less bad. Which is why I take my clients through a sexual growth program that involves becoming their best selves in relationship with another person. It is a process of expanding the ability to keep your heart and your sex open in connection with your partner in a way that brings more pleasure, eroticism and closeness — over the length of your relationship and lives.
Sex & Intimacy Coaching for Couples
Sex coaching combines the power of coaching and transformational change with the deep understanding of human sexuality dynamics and relationship dynamics.
My work is heavily influenced by the evidence-based "attachment" approaches and tools by John & Julie Gottman of the Gottman Institute, based on 30 years of couples research at the Love Lab at the University of Washington, as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) techniques pioneered by Sue Johnson.
It is a combination of learning about your sexual self, how to stand in your own truth, and how to meet another human being through sexual and emotional intimacy. It’s a process that involves all of you: your attitudes, thoughts, feelings and your body.
I also bring a wealth of experience to help rewire the body to deeper pleasure using Somatic Experiencing® techniques for nervous system relaxation and regulation.
Every coaching journey — whether with a couple or an individual client — is custom-tailored for your specific situation and is highly experiential and transformative. It includes these areas of focus:
FOCUS AREA 1: BUILDING INTIMACY & CONNECTION
When we feel safe with our partners — when are able to open up about our needs and desires and trust that we will be heard — magic happens. When partners are emotionally connected, accessible, responsive and engaged, we let our guard down and allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable by sharing our deepest desires and our hearts and opening up to receiving. Sex becomes erotic play.
Satisfying sex and connection go hang in hand. By creating an environment where it’s “safe to be risky,” our libido heightens and partners move from physical satisfaction to deeper intimate bliss.
Work in this area includes breaking through barriers to connection, learning to speak vulnerably and ask for what you want powerfully, and addressing conflict in a way that helps deepen intimacy.
FOCUS AREA 2: CULTIVATING & FREEING SEXUAL DESIRE
Sexual desire is a potent force for connection and intimacy. It is a raw expression of our humanness and our eroticism. Yet most couples rarely allow themselves full permission to express directly what they want and need, building barriers to protect themselves from rejection and disappointment, and resorting to complaining or withdrawing altogether.
In this area, we focus on cultivating desire, expressing it cleanly and asking for what you want in a way that deepens erotic connection, builds pleasure and stokes our own turn-on.
FOCUS AREA 3: EXPANDING EROTICAL & PLEASURE POTENTIAL
Understanding sex and sexuality is more than knowing the best positions or ways to bring a partner to orgasm. Just as we have different personalities, we also have different sex languages and what works to arouse our bodies. By expanding on your erotic education, you will learn the ways that we differ — as individuals and as men/women — and how to speak each other’s language to meet each other to deepen both pleasure and connection.
Some of the things you will learn:
Erotic languages and what turns your body on
The workings of the female libido and how to stoke its fire
Arousal anatomy for women and men
Expanded orgasm for women and men
Delaying ejaculation in men for longer and more pleasurable sex
We learn how to do something differently by doing it differently, not just talking about it — which is why actual practices are key. I introduce different exercises for you to learn about each other and your bodies including hugging practices, explorative touch, and sexual practices such as Orgasmic Meditation (OM) and Tantric massage. Expect to set aside time each day to practice these as you grow new muscles and also use the practices to discover new ways of connecting.
Couples sex coaching includes:
Experiential learning: through action and practice, you learn a different way
Real-time feedback: you’ll get honest, straightforward feedback and tools for improvement
Transformation of unhelpful habits: you will find freedom from habits that hold you back so you can get the results you want
Practice: exercise new muscles with relevant, customized exercises in and between sessions
Want a breakthrough in your sexual relationship?
I get it that sometimes things feel very hard. What I notice working with couples around relationships for the last seven years is that in the beginning, these challenges can feel devastating and impossible to overcome. I know that feeling.
And once we start talking with clients, I see breakthroughs all the time. Even in short conversations, couples begin to feel that something is shifting and changing for the better. I invite you to consider that it’s easier to make this work than you think.
I am here for you! Sign up for a free “breakthrough” consultation session and let’s design a roadmap to sex that works for you.
We may not get to the core of the problem on this call, but we will get to the roadmap of what you will need to make it happen. All conversations are confidential, whether or not you decide to work with me.
Benefits of Sex Coaching for Couples
Discover each other with connection-deepening conversations and powerful physical/touch practices
Work through conflict around sex in a way that brings out the best in both of you and draws you closer
Learn about slow sex, sexual presence, sexual polarities and other energetic concepts to enhance your sexual experience
Share your desires and experience in a way that turns you on and brings you closer
Deepen intimacy in conflict and come towards each other when it feels like you want to pull apart
Attune to each other’s energy and create turn-on and passion from ordinary situations
Turn communication gridlocks into vulnerable, intimacy-creating moments
Create physical and energetic connection to create "all-day foreplay" (and more intimacy)
Transform "performance" and "pleasing" modes to experience true intimacy and connection
Communicate deep desires in a way that brings out the best in your partner
Feel pleasure in your body and bring energy to your sex and relationship
Relax into your feminine presence and let yourself enjoy the experience fully
Communicate your deep feelings and emotions in a way that creates trust, connection and turn-on between the two of you
Use your deep masculine energy to create trust and safety in the relationship for both of you to open up and create deep sexual fulfillment for both of you
Play her body like a music instrument with your body, energy and touch
Powerfully lead in your relationship from a place of deep integrity with your desire (which turns women on)
Understand what’s really keeping your woman from opening to you and how you can change that
Irene's exercises and one-on-one coaching has helped us take steps towards where we want to be, rather than trying to fix everything all at once.
The most important things we've learned have been different approaches to understanding intimacy, from love languages to masculine/feminine dynamics. We've learned how to better communicate and acknowledge feelings instead of talking past each other. Irene has also helped remove the negativity from our thinking about intimacy issues, and gotten us to a place where we think of this as a normal growing pain in a longstanding relationship."
Krystal and Ira, 34 & 38, Married, Int'l Aid Worker & Engineer