Bigger is better in sex? Not always ...


When it comes to sexual intimacy, we're made to believe that bigger is better. Think grandiose romantic gestures. Extravagant date nights. Wild sexual desires. Tantalizing sex toys. Big orgasms.

But here's the thing.

Bigger distracts from intimacy, making it about the chase for an ever-moving target.

True intimacy isn't nearly as sexy as a dinner out or a surprise diamond ring.
True intimacy requires very little fanfare. 
In fact, true intimacy isn't about action at all.

Intimacy is that moment when you strip away the doing, the running after, and the making things happen. It's that moment when you slow down to feel your partner. It’s that moment when you allow your walls to go down and let your partner feel your desire — or your fear.

Intimacy is that moment when the world goes silent around you, and it's just you and your partner locked in connection. 

And it doesn't take much …

It's the moment when you feel your desire to reach over and touch your partner to let them know you're there with them.

It's the moment when you stop sex mid-action and look in their eyes to see them.

It's the text during a busy day that you're thinking about them.

It's the lingering passionate kiss before bedtime without seeking sex. For no reason at all.

It's the moment of acknowledging that you pulled away in anger and now you're choosing to come back to them, right then and there.

It's the admission that you've been scared to ask for what you really want and that you don't know how. And then asking for it, letting your partner feel your vulnerability.

True intimacy happens in the most mundane moments. It happens when life takes over, when you think you don't have time to connect, and you choose to anyways.

It happens quietly. And it happens in small gestures that leave a large imprint and a sense that you're there with your partner, and vice versa. 

When it comes to intimacy, smaller is better. And more of it.


What little gestures can you make today that will leave a big impact for your partner?
And what little gestures do you long for to receive? What will you ask for?

Leave your insights in the comments below.