Sex & Intimacy Coaching for Single Women
Discover and own your sexuality and build a relationship that truly honors who you are.
What if the key to creating the kind of intimate relationship you want isn't becoming more desirable, learning how to attract the right person, or figuring out how to make a relationship work?
What if it starts with knowing yourself?
Knowing what you desire.
What brings you pleasure.
What makes you feel safe enough to open.
What turns you on — and what turns you off.
What you want more of.
What you no longer want to tolerate.
How you want to be touched, loved and desired.
And being able to own all of it.
When you know yourself sexually, you can make different choices about who you let into your life — and how you show up with them.
You can recognize relationships that have room for the woman you actually are.
You can speak honestly about what you want.
You can set boundaries without abandoning yourself.
You can stay connected to yourself while becoming deeply intimate with someone else.
And you can build a relationship that doesn't require you to leave parts of yourself at the door.
This is sex and intimacy coaching for women who want more than a relationship.
It's for women who want a relationship that honors their sexuality, their desire, their body, their boundaries, and their whole selves.
Sex & Intimacy Coaching for Single Women
This coaching is for you if you’re a woman who wants to explore and deepen your sexuality — whether you're dating, not dating, recently divorced, taking a break from relationships, or simply ready to experience yourself differently.
You might be:
Rediscovering your sexuality after divorce or a long relationship
Wondering where your desire went — or discovering desire for the first time
Wanting to feel more comfortable and at home in your body
Curious about what actually brings you pleasure
Tired of performing, pleasing or disconnecting during sex
Carrying shame, fear or anxiety around sexuality
Struggling to communicate what you want
Wanting to experience more sensuality, playfulness and aliveness
Exploring sexuality at midlife or after menopause
Wanting to feel more confident and authentic in intimate situations
Preparing for a future relationship without making finding one the project
You don't need to have a particular sexual problem to do this work. You may simply know that there is more of you waiting to be discovered.
What We Can Explore Together
Discover your desire
Get curious about what genuinely turns you on — physically, emotionally, psychologically and relationally.
Learn to recognize your body's signals of desire and pleasure
Explore what creates interest, arousal and aliveness for you
Understand what shuts desire down
Separate your authentic desires from expectations, conditioning and other people's ideas about sex
Develop greater capacity to experience pleasure without rushing toward an outcome
Come home to your body
Sexuality isn't just something you think about.
It's something you experience.
Become more aware of sensations in your body
Get out of your head and into your actual experience
Develop greater comfort with sensuality and pleasure
Notice where you brace, disconnect or hold yourself back
Explore what helps you feel safe enough to become more present and open
Find your sexual voice
Your sexuality becomes much more powerful when you can actually speak about it.
Learn to name what you want
Communicate your boundaries without abandoning yourself
Ask for the touch, affection and experiences you enjoy
Say no without guilt
Say yes because you genuinely want to
Have honest conversations about sex and intimacy
Trust yourself when something doesn't feel right
Release shame and old patterns
Your past may have shaped your relationship with sex.
It doesn't have to define your future.
Together, we can explore the patterns that have kept you disconnected from pleasure, intimacy or your own truth — and create new ways of relating to yourself.
This can include experiences of rejection, unwanted or obligatory sex, painful relationships, shame around your body or sexuality, difficulty trusting, or simply years of being disconnected from yourself.
Expand your capacity for intimacy with a partner
Sexual intimacy isn't only about what happens in bed. It's about your capacity to be seen and known fully, to receive, to express yourself, to stay connected to yourself while connecting with someone else.
You can learn to experience intimacy without losing yourself inside it.
And if you choose to share your sexuality with a partner, you can bring a much stronger sense of self into that relationship.
You don't need to become someone else's idea of desirable. You need to know what is desirable to you. And when you own your sexuality, you stop looking for a relationship that simply wants you — and start creating one that truly honors you. Dating then becomes a place to practice what you're discovering about yourself and to notice who has the capacity to meet you there.
And as a result …
You may find yourself making different choices in and about relationships.
You may notice that you no longer tolerate experiences that once felt normal.
You may become clearer about what you want.
You may feel more comfortable talking about sex.
You may discover desires you had pushed away.
You may experience more pleasure.
You may feel more alive in your body.
You may become more willing to take sexual risks that are genuinely yours — and less willing to perform sexuality for someone else's approval.
And yes, this can change how you date and relate to partners.
But that isn't the point.
The point is that you know yourself. So that when someone comes into your life, you're not trying to become the woman they want. You're bringing the woman you already are.
You deserve to be free, feel good and to be loved passionately — for the authentic you.
Participate in the pleasure and aliveness of sex
Enjoy that sexy feeling in your body when excited for love-making
Feel close and excited to be intimate with a partner
Let’s go on this journey together.
How We’ll Work Together
Tools and practices to discover you
This is both a guided journey to discover you and also a free-form one that gives us space to encounter and address whatever shows up in your path. Expect to learn more about yourself, break out old patterns, and gain deep confidence to show up authentically in sex, relationships and beyond.
Personal attention and support through sex & intimacy coaching
Growth is not only what happens in the sessions. It happens between sessions — especially when you get stuck and need a helping hand to get out. You get access to me between sessions via Whatsapp/text and through laser sessions, so that you can troubleshoot whatever you encounter in realtime.
This journey is one of exploration and also creating sustainable change that sticks in real-life situations. It takes time. We commit to working together for at least one year. My highly-customized coaching packages start at US$13,000; specifics and payment plans will be discussed during the free consultation call.
1:1 Sex & Intimacy Coaching tailored to your needs
Every coaching journey is tailored to your needs and desires, and it generally covers these areas, explored at the pace that is right for you.
access your desire
Build confidence to ask for what you really want
Uncover what you deeply want for yourself: the touch, affection, and communication that turn you on
Remove roadblocks of guilt, shame or self-doubt that stand in the way of you having what you want
Connect to your body’s wisdom and sexual energy to know what you really want and need
Break negative patterns that sabotage your relationship
Heal past patterns that block love and intimacy
Learn what feels good to you and how to receive pleasure (and get out of your head)
Work through fears, guilt and shame that hold you back from surrendering deeply into your pleasure
Relax into your body and your sensuality
Nourish your body & soul to bring out your natural radiance and shine
use your voice
Learn to trust yourself — and others — in relationships
Express your truth authentically and n a way that your partner will listen
Release resentments and hurts from the past to create a clean start to magnetize a partner that you deeply desire
Surrender deeply into relationship without losing yourself and compromising your integrity
Empowered Dating
Bring all of these learnings and clarity together into an intentional dating process that is about honoring yourself while attracting a partner who will honor who you are and meet you in the kind of intimacy and love that you desire.
date with intention
Ask powerful questions that provide a meaningful window into the integrity and character of potential partners
Work up the courage to let go of potential dates that do not suit you
Whether you need encouragement or a space to cry it out, rely on unwavering support available during the process.
Real Journeys of Personal Transformation
Client success stories of women in their 30s to their 50s connecting to their authentic truth and finding fulfilling partnerships in love
I thought that sexuality goes downhill after menopause. And it's been the opposite for me in my experience. That was a wonderful, fun surprise!
I had been divorced for about five years … I hadn't felt sexual in years and years. I wanted my sexuality back. I wanted to be in a relationship. I wanted love and intimacy with a partner. That was the longing.
My friends were all bugging me to get on dating sites to jump start the process. I tried and it was not a good experience.
[Fast forward to today] … I am finding myself as a deeply centered, powerful sexual being who is unapologetic and unafraid of her sexuality, and who is adored for that.
I'm in a relationship with a man as opposed to a boy, for sure, and that’s something that's different. I feel like he's needing me to be in my power, as he's super masculine.
Update: Since working together, Hannah married a wonderful man, who loves and adores her.
Hannah • Professional divorced woman in her mid 50s with a teen daughter • US
Sexual work is deep and intense, yet it is also light and playful and fun. What I have learned: that I am free to express and embody all the shades of my femininity and sexuality.
Irene’s coaching is alluring, beautiful, and POWERFUL. She has pushed me beyond my comfort zone and even when I wanted to stay small, she has gently and lovingly and yet firmly pushed me to play bigger. I am so feminine and flowy that I can be deep in my sea of emotions and feminine energy, and I needed a powerful coach who is the perfect balance of feminine and masculine energy to support me on my sexual awakening and transformation journey.
With her support, I am becoming my truth and embodying the divine feminine so I can finally feel free in my divine sensual experiences. There always been fire inside me … by working through my fog of fears and limiting beliefs and integrating this mindset work with body work and feeling the sensations in my body, the gates of my heart and body have opened.
In this journey, I have spent the time honoring the darkness of my past and processing my shame around my sexuality and learned the intricacies of seduction and my sexuality. I am now ready to express my sexuality. Express my wild woman. I want to express who I am deep inside that I’ve kept hidden since childhood. I know I am a Sex and Sensual Goddess since childhood because this is my portal to connect to the Universe and the Divine. I’ve faced my wounds and shadows.
Besides connecting to my sexuality, my sexual energy has fed my creative projects and I’ve re-discovered my creativity and understand that my true calling in my life is to be a creative artist and healer.
Sexual work is deep and intense, yet it is also light and playful and fun. What I have learned: that I am free to express and embody all the shades of my femininity and sexuality. I have gained my womanhood and my gift of my sexuality. Thank you, thank you, and thank you with all my heart, Irene!
Update from 2025: I signed up for coaching specifically with Irene Fehr because I was looking for the right coach and teacher to hold space for me and support me as I moved through embracing and discovering my true feminine nature and sexuality. I wanted a teacher who was real, honest, and powerfully authentic and she has all these qualities! She held me accountable for my role in working towards my desires and supported me in building and deepening my capacity for pleasure, connection and inner freedom. Before coaching with Irene, I was doing so many different things though from a confused and fearful place and could not understand the power of my sexuality and pleasure and I also spent most of my life hiding my truth and not allowing myself to be truly seen by myself and others. I now have this deep inner knowing that my desires for pleasure and intimacy are intertwined and I am worthy of having this all and more.
I have a much healthier relationship to my sexual self and intimacy and I feel more feminine, soft, and open to receive and as a result, feel more anchored in my own body, sensuality, and radiance. I am also finally doing things for pleasure and relaxation and honestly don't feel the guilt that I did in the past. I have grown so much since our coaching container and I am forever grateful to Irene and her life-changing work because since then I learned how to speak my truth, embrace my feminine and sexual self, attracted my soulmate and married him who is now my loving husband, and following my calling to become a therapist and healer. I never realized that working on my sexuality is connected to all the other areas of my life like love, intimacy, and financial empowerment. I also have much more financial peace and abundance in my life which I don't think is a coincidence at all from coaching with her. I highly recommend working with Irene because your life is deeply transformed and you unlock and live your infinite potential. Thank you so much Irene!
Priyanka Yadvendu • Creative Artist • www.wildlyintimate.com • California, USA
I’m energised because my energy is feminine & abundant. I’ve become one of the highest performing sales women in my job and am often told I’m magnetic.
I still remember the sad night I had enough of my sexual frustration. I was ashamed of myself, my body and of my desires. I pushed pleasure all the way to the tiny hours of the night while I spent all my waking hours as a successful career-driven woman. I love my career, but it was self destructive and I sacrificed pleasure, desire, play and curiosity. I sat in bed realising that if I continued this life, I KNEW I’d wake up as a 35 year old woman hating her life, body and in an un-loving relationship. In a deep panic I reached out to Irene — she was the first and only person I sought help for sexual education, awareness and help.
I have worked with Irene for six months and I have seen DRAMATIC results in my life. The first being, to communicate my desires. I started out as a shy, ashamed and angry girl. I had been taught to push all passion, desire and sexuality aside in pursuit of career success as an Accountant. After working with Irene, not only do I voice my desires, I ACT on them. I have become a talented dancer and successful sales woman in a job I love.
The second dramatic result was to awaken my sexual self. Before, I perceived my sexuality and femininity as a liability in my career and in my identity. I thought I’d be a push-over or I’m displeasing God. With Irene’s help she has given me confidence to exude femininity and use sexual energy in all aspects of my life. Even in my sales job! Consequently, I am always energised because my energy is feminine and abundant. I’ve become one of the highest performing sales women in my job and am often told I am magnetic.
The third dramatic result was my self love and self acceptance. Before, I was very ashamed of my shortcomings, inexperience and appearance. Irene taught me skills to help me love all of me, with compassion and understanding. In turn, I love myself and I desire to see myself as beautiful, joyful and happy. This reflection has caused me to become attractive to other people too! Wow! I am approached by both men and women as someone they would love to be friends with!! Now, I am confident dating men again.
Update from 2023: “You helped me SO MUCH. I just wanted to say that the guy I met during the course of meeting you is now my husband! We have great intimacy and love. Sex life is fantastic too! We’ve even started exploring more adventures. What I wanted to let you know was that your coaching HAS NEVER BEEN MORE USEFUL in this new adventures of ours. It’s difficult to maintain the practice of being in the body lo the time (due to work etc). But in the matters of the body and owning your pleasure - the practices you have instilled in me help a great deal. You have definitely been a wonderful influence on my intimate life and I thank you!”
Pia • Woman in her 30s, now married • Australia
I have realized some inner truths, like I am tired of trying to control everything, and the messy side of my personality is dying to come out!
I reached out to Irene after struggling on my own for years, but wanting to make a change before my wedding. My fiancé and I went through some challenging times, and I was feeling stuck and unable to move past old hurts. For years I had been slowly building up walls, and separating myself both emotionally and physically, even though I wanted nothing but closeness and intimacy deep down. Irene made me feel at ease right away: she has a way of guiding you to answers you didn't know you had inside you.
After only a couple of months of working together, I am now able to reach for my partner when I need him. I have shed the fear of not being good enough for my partner. I have realized some inner truths, like I am tired of trying to control everything, and the messy side of my personality is dying to come out!
I have transformed from rigid to soft, from closed off to open, and from insecure in my relationship to more confident and connected than ever. Irene has provided the safe space I needed to process, and move forward. I can't wait to see what the coming months hold for our work together!
Sarah, 33 • Engaged • Marketing Director • Denver, CO
Irene helped me find and connect, mind and body, to the woman I knew was inside.
I had spent years in my head and totally disconnected from my body. I felt flat. I knew I wanted to feel differently but I wasn't sure what to do about it. Irene helped me to zero in on how I wanted to feel within my body, then name and claim those desires. I laughed, cried, cussed, and got turned on! Working with Irene was nothing short of transformational. Don't let her sweet voice fool you though, she's tough ... and you'll love her for it!
Stephanie, 40 • Artist & Mother of 2 • Nebraska
My Own Journey from Disconnect to Deep Intimacy
Hi, I am Irene Fehr, MA, CPCC, SEP, and sex & intimacy coach who is committed to helping people find deep fulfilling love that honors their hearts and souls.
I get the struggle of so deeply wanting an intimate relationship and being so stuck sexually, because I have been there too.
Just before I became a sex coach, I was in my 30s, utterly devastated and ashamed of having had a sexless marriage because I lost all interest in sex. To add to that, I had extreme pain during sex and had never orgasmed.
To be honest, I blamed myself for not being feminine enough. I felt broken for not being orgasmic. And I felt numb — to sex but also to passion for my own life because I had to put so many parts of me in the name of “keeping the love.”
At 30 years of age, I wondered...
Is that it for me in terms of sex?
Why don't I want sex like other women?
Am I not meant to enjoy sex?
Not long after having what Brene Brown, academic and researcher on shame, vulnerability, and leadership, calls a “nervous breakdown slash spiritual awakening,” I finally heard the wake up call. My loss of libido and sexual struggles set me on a path to discover what intimacy and sexuality really meant for me — and experience the kind of deep safety, pleasure and surrender I craved.
Knowing deep down that there has to be more than the anxiety, shutdown and tears I experienced around sex, I walked into a sex coach's office to tell her that I wanted more and I needed help finding it.
Working with a sex coach was life-changing!
I saw my body shift and come alive when I was given permission to honor my body.
Desire flowed — without the guilt or shame.
My body relaxed and got turned on — like a flower bud slowly opening up. I started to radiate sexual energy — and I learned how to ask for what I wanted and what I didn’t, making my sexual experiences pleasurable and free of shame.
And I became the intimacy warrior I am today — and a vocal advocate of women’s pleasure on podcasts and media platforms around the world. My early sexual experiences had me doubt if I like sex (or if women at all like sex) but I realized that you have to have sex worth wanting to like it.
Are You a Woman in Relationship?
For women already in relationship, my couples work includes working on deepening connection and intimacy, so that you and your partner can feel closer to each other and explore sexual pleasure together. Whether you’re starting out as a new couple, want to rebuild your relationship, or rekindle sexual connection, I offer a combination approach of individual work that goes hand in hand with couples sessions. Learn more about couples coaching here.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is sex & intimacy coaching for single women?
Sex and intimacy coaching helps single, divorced or separated women identify and release blocks to love, build confidence in expressing desires, and attract partners who can meet them in authentic connection and intimacy.
Q: How is coaching different from therapy?
Both therapy and coaching are about understanding yourself and removing blocks to health. But they come at it from different perspectives and offer different benefits.
Therapist training by nature is about treating disfunction as it is outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, referred to as the “DSM.” The goal of therapy is to bring you to a baseline of health.
The kind of coaching I do picks up at that baseline and focuses on helping you create an extraordinary life in all ways that are important to you — including sex. I provide practices for you to do and skills for you to learn to empower yourself, leaving you with tools (not just realizations) to use without my help, after we stop working together. Sex and intimacy coaching in particular integrates emotional healing, embodiment, and relational skills so you can feel safe, confident, and fully yourself in love and sex.
Q: Do I need to be dating to work with you?
No. In fact, you don't need to be interested in dating at all. Many women come to this work because they want to understand themselves sexually before bringing another person into the picture. You can explore your sexuality, desire, pleasure, boundaries and intimacy entirely from the starting point of you.
Q: Does your approach include dating coaching?
No and yes. Dating is not the focus of this coaching. The focus is you and your exploration and understanding of your sexuality, desire, body, pleasure and intimacy.
However, if you wish to date, dating coaching becomes part of the process.
Q: What if I don't know what I want sexually?
That's a perfectly valid place to begin. You don't have to arrive with a list of desires. Come with curiosity and a desire to learn. Part of the work is learning to listen to your body, notice what creates aliveness and discover what feels authentic to you.
Q: What if I've had difficult, traumatic or painful sexual experiences?
If and when you choose, we can explore how those experiences may be affecting your relationship with sex, your body and intimacy today.
As a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP), I create a safe, supportive space for you to open up at your own pace and, when you're ready, explore what happened and how it may still be showing up in your body, your relationships and your sexuality.
There is no pressure to go anywhere you aren't ready to go. We follow your pace, your capacity and what feels right for you.
The focus is not on forcing you to revisit the past, but on helping you develop greater choice, safety and freedom in how you experience yourself sexually today.
Q: Can this work help me have better sex with a future partner?
It can certainly change the way you enter sexual relationships. When you know yourself more deeply, you have more information to bring into intimacy: what you want, what you don't want, what helps you open, what shuts you down, and how to communicate it. And you get tools to address challenging situations as they arise.
Q: What results can I expect from working with you?
Many women experience greater self-confidence, emotional clarity, freedom to ask for what they want, and the ability to attract and sustain authentic, intimate relationships. My customer success stories speak for themselves.
Q: How do I get started?
You can begin to get a sense of what it’s like to work with me by meeting me over a free 1-hour strategy session. We’ll explore your goals, uncover what’s been holding you back, and discuss your roadmap.